Monthly Archives: July 2012

MARRIAGE ADVICE

A Young lady at work was getting married. At 24 she glowed with the annoucement. Love has a way of making people Glow, almost like those glow sticks when unactivated they just are pieces of round plastic but smack them and all of sudden they come to life and glow in the dark illumanating for many to see. She was like a glow stick and struck by LOVE she glowed. I wanted to give her a wedding present something she would rememeber for a long time. I know I will create this really cool LOVE Poem. Than it dawned on me, at 24 how much can she really know about relationships and what makes them work? If I want to get along for a day with 20 somethings, never give them advice but this was different this was very specific advice. Marriage is special and needs the attention to detail in the advice. So I wrote a few things down and preceeded to draw a blank, so I started to do research and went to library and read many many books, and blogs and articles on marriage advice from those I put together my own marriage advice. Being naturaly long winded, it was 10 pages long, Way too long for a short Note on Marriage advice, so everyday I took one topic and either threw it out, or wittled it down to one line. That was my goal ONE liners, From whole pages to one liners, could it even be done? Well hours and days and weeks turned into months and Yes I got it to be one liners. An example from the marriage advice blog is the line about money, that was 3 pages and now just one. Yet the advice is perfect for any relationship. So without further ado. The Best marriage advice you will find anywhere on the interenet.

MARRIAGE ADVICE

Advice is free, take it or leave it so I wrote down a few things for you

Two people come together to share their life together

Learn to listen it is the greatest form of communication

Love with all your heart

Learn to compromise for nothing is set in stone

Say I love you often

Hold hands until you die its like sex with your cloths on

Life is a long road, take time to relax and enjoy it

When you say; in sickness and health really mean it

When the question comes up; what to do or what to eat

Never say I DUNNO, make up your mind what you want

Happiness only comes to people who know what makes them happy

Take the time to write ten things that make you happy

refer to list when you are sad and blue

Nothing ever stays the same, accept change.

All relationships are unique

you have to work on them for them to succeed

Appreciation and being grateful are magical

Being thankful will only bring more reasons to give thanks

Before arguing, decide if it is worth it

Marriage will bring money together, discuss how to spend it

Before it becomes an issue

May your life be filled with happiness

Like a feel good Movie with a Happy ending,

May you grow ole and love each other until life is no more

 I stated the Best; for a One page One liner Note. (No it is not everything, and it is not the most complete that would be much more than one page and surely not summarized in one lines for each topic.)

CALL GIRLS Make better GFs

1.) You know she will never cheat on you. You know she is already having sex with other men.

 2.) You know the sex is good she has had a lot of practice and does not mind getting Kinky once in awhile.

3.) She is carefree and so there is no talk of getting married or commitment anytime soon.

4.) She does not need flowers or candy or even a call after a great date.

5.) Call girls are normally good looking and skinny and not hung up on their bodies or how fat they are. They are comfortable in their own skin.

 6.) Call girls are just like cops, they are girls with emotions like just like cops. Treat them the same way you would any girl you would meet at church or POF or e-harmony. Yes they like going out to dinner, they like to go for walks in the park and swimming and concerts. The love when you take them for motorcycle ride.

7.) Most of them do not need a pre-planned date a week in advance and 2 hours to get ready for date. Stop at their house after a fun night out at the Main street saloon and see if they are home. If she is home, “Hey babe want to go for ride, if she does not have apointment, she will most likely say, “HELL ya!” As she grabs her shoes, purse, cell and smokes and out the door on the back of your bike.

8.) Upon returning home you don’t have to worry how late it is or how you look or smell or whatever. Nope make an advance for sex and she is ready willing and able – BFs get a freebie.

9.) I mentioned they do not need flowers or chocolates, but with no special occasion you stop in and give her flowers or chocolates she smiles, instant sex, right there no messing around, most GF would not respond with instant sex, they would respond with a kiss and thank you that was sweet. But remember #6 they are like cops? Yes, they still say thank you and that was sweet, could be before or after the spontanous sex.

10.) Call girls know how to let loose and get wild and crazy and do not need a 5 star restaurant or hotel, so they are a lot of fun right out off the bat. They appreciate the 5 star hotel or restaurant more than normal girls who expect it.  After all they are used to rooms by the hour and McDonalds.

Yes, there are a lot of advantages to having a girlfriend who is a call girl. there are many negatives too, but Hey this is a happy blog. Not a serious, investigative 20/20 story.